'A critical juncture'

That's where we are, what it's come to. A critical juncture. Those are Dr. Neel's words. We knew that the cancer had progressed. We didn't know how much, until today.

The entire liver is now involved. It's gone from one spot, to tumors throughout and they are starting to affect liver function. So getting them to shrink is critical. If the chemo doesn't work or Mike can't handle it, his liver will fail.

The news was a bit much to take. We have a couple options to consider. Mike went ahead and went to chemo today, just getting one drug. We'll have to decide in a couple days if we want to add back the drug he had last year -- the one that had much success in shrinking the tumors, but ended up making him sick enough in January to spend 18 days in the hospital.

The decisions will be made with the knowledge that Mike hasn't really been able to handle chemo this year. Each time he's had a cycle, he ended up in the hospital.

I can't tell you how Mike is feeling because right after chemo he went to work. But I will tell you that I feel like I am trying to breathe with a concrete block laying on my chest. Every inhale hurts. But I'm trying to picture in my mind what needs to happen. Mike needs to be strong enough to handle the chemo. Dr. Neel said he had to push through to get some in his system. And the chemo has to shrink the tumors. Has. to.